Hard Knocks Life... (Dedicated to my Kids)

BACKGROUND

I became a stay-at-home dad in 2014 when my wife, at the time, went through a very deep depression and to add to that stress wanted to go back to school. She asked me to be the stay-at-home dad until she graduated and I agreed. That deadline hasn’t actually ended because halfway through her education she decided to abandon me and the kids and move into her parent's home. After a long drawn out process we eventually divorced and the kids are not being pulled back and forth between their parents. The kids are with me most of the time and I still have to act like the stay-at-home parent and still bring in an income. (UPDATE: Even though we have established barriers, my ex and I are still good friends and talk constantly about the kids and how to work together to support them)

You can see how their mom’s absence affected the kids. My eldest daughter was made to become the mom of the household. She was 10 at the time and had to be an adult in many circumstances she experienced at home. Yet she did this with a strong heart and even helped hold up dad when I needed it the most. I could always feel her love but even more when she was there by my side. I dedicate this book to her for being there for me when I needed her the most.

My eldest son started gaining weight dramatically and became very sad. His life was turned upside down so many times that he was crying constantly over everything, even in school, and even his teacher contacted me to ask what was happening. When we communicated the circumstances to her, she was finally able to give him the attention he needed. But through all that he still stayed strong and was able to overcome his obstacles. He started to “Game the System” he was handed when it came to his weight and started exercising with dad every day. He was my motivation many morning to do my exercises and that is why I dedicate this book to him as well.

My younger son was the strongest and most impenetrable for so long but even he was affected. He became clingy to his dad and always wanting to stay close to me. He was the one that was always ready and willing to put a smile on your face, wanting to go outside and stay active. He was a driving factor in the realization of “Gaming the System” because he learned what I wanted him to do and did it, every single time, and went further than expected. He knew what would make his dad happy and went beyond. That is why this book is dedicated to him.

And finally to my little one, she was the most affected, she was very clingy to her mom and dad and didn’t want to leave us. The counselors said that she was never certain if we were going to come back but it was her love that filled my heart and I will proudly admit that I was found multiple times a week playing Barbies with her. I never thought I would admit that to the world, hopefully my man card is never taken away, but I loved that time with my daughter. It was her unconditional love that made me understand what the love of a child really means in a parent’s life.

Parents aren’t perfect, we make plenty of mistakes, but we never made a mistake to have our children. My youngest’s love is why this book is dedicated to them.

It is looking at life through a child's eyes that helped me design "Gaming their System" for if we look at life from a simpler aspect, stepping out of our assumptions that create our boundaries that we are finally able to overcome most obstacles and become a better more well adjusted person.