Do you Live a Life of LIES?

WE LIE BECAUSE....

WE WANT TO IMPRESS OTHERS... When I was around 16 years old, my friend and I would constantly try to outdo each other in stories we told each other. Though best friends we were constantly lying to each other trying to impress the other. My mom constantly caught me in these lies as I brought the habit home with me. One day she sat me down and changed my whole perspective on lying. Every time after that point, when I caught myself telling a story, I would put in a caviat of "wouldn't that be cool." Sadly my friend didn't pick up my example and continued to lie. We parted ways for many years. 13 years later he was around 28 years old, I found him still living with his family, he had been in the Army for only a few months. While in boot camp he was thrown in the brigg twice and then thrown out of bootcamp because he couldn't respect authority. He couldn't hold on to a relationship and was still living at home because he couldn't get out of the game of lying about who he really was, not just lies to others but also himself.

In this life we are always trying to find who truly are and when we lie we are giving a narrative that is not us and we can't become as long we continue to lie. These types of lies are a distortion of a world that is not real. When we tell these lies we give a narrative of a life we wish we had but we will never follow if we think our lies are working and have no need to actually accomplish or achieve.

YET - If we tell the truth of who we are and instead of just imagining what we want to be and actually go out and do or accomplish those things our lives will be much more fulfilling.

WE GIVE A NARRATIVE THAT'S ACCEPTABLE... A good friend of mine recently met a man who told her he went to jail for a traffic stop and assaulting a police officer due to finding out his wife was cheating on him, was divorcing him and taking the kids to St. Louis with the new love interest. He talked of redemption and how things had changed since he left prison but that was a narrative he was giving her because he thought it was acceptable. The truth of the matter was that he already knew she was leaving him 6 months before when he was served divorce paperwork. 6 months later he got into a fight with his brother and assaulted him. He then went on to cause an accident by jerking the wheel from his wife while a passenger in his wife's car and causing an accident and fleeing the scene. When the police caught up to him he got in a fight, assaulted the officer, and tried to get to his gun. He had protective orders placed on him by his brother, wife, and another friend. Redemption is good but that is only a narrative if you continue to lie about it.

This is a protection mechanism. We lie because we think we can change someone's aspect of us by distorting/changing the truth because the new story is acceptable while the truth is not. We only put up barriers around ourselves when we tell lies because like a spiderweb of lies, we will trip up on those lies and the truth will come out.

YET - If we tell the truth in the first place, we never have to worry about falling into our own spiderweb and those lies coming out.

PROTECTING OTHERS... A friend makes a mistake and gets in a fight with someone. The police are called and you lie to the officers that it wasn't your friends fault, he gets off and the other person gets arrested. That same day, your friend gets into a car and gets into a bit of road rage causing an accident, sending an entire family on vacation to the Emergency Room and let's hope none of them die because your friend, with anger issues, should have been arrested for starting the fight earlier that day.

When we lie to protect someone else, we then take responsibility for that incident that happened and being accepting of it. The friend will never take responsibility, they will never see the results as they should have turned out.

YET - If we tell the truth we trust that the best outcome will come out. We trust that the God in charge, the universe, or whatever power you see will allow things to occur that is natural and best for that person.

WHITE LIES... What is a "little white lie" but something that stems from one of the three types of lies we stated above? We are just telling a little lie that we don't think will make a difference and we justify it as a little white lie. We are still obstructing nature and the natural cycle of what should occur from someone's actions. Even little white lies, thought we think they won't harm, are still lies and again, the truth always comes out, whether on the outside or fester inside a person. We can't just live by lying about life.

Honesty is not just the best policy but it is the true protective mechanism that will never let us down. We can't trip up in our lies if we don't spin them. We can't become a true friend if someone doesn't know who we truly are. If they don't like us for who we are, they are most definitely not going to like us when they find out the truth. Nature/God/Universe has a way of putting everything right and when we spin lies, we will find the negative results that come from those lies.

MENTAL BENEFITS OF TELLING THE TRUTH: Lies cause stress in our lives and the lives of those around us. We will always worry about the truth coming out and that cause guilt and mental fatigue that is unlike any other stress in your brains. Your brain can tell stress that will be relieved by accomplishing a task and stress that will stick around forever because you hope no one will ever find out. Relieve that stress placed on your mind. You have too many other things to do than to overwhelm yourself with those evergreen thoughts and lies.

ACTION ITEMS:

1) TELL THE TRUTH - What lies are you already spinning? Correct them. Go to the place/person we told the lie and apologize. Respect from others we lied to come from our honesty and our acts of forth coming.

2) RESOLVE TODAY - Begin today to start telling the truth in all circumstances and resolve to help others see the truth and the true you.

3) FIND YOUR FANTASY - If you told lies about who you truly were because you wanted to be that person, stop daydreaming and go out and do those things. Become that person you have always wanted to become.