Don't Ever Give Up...

In a room of 100 people, how many would respond to their "fight or flight" response? Did you know it's all 100. Everyone has a FOF response that is triggered in their brain. With that response they will either fight back or run away.

If you sit down in a meeting and begin to be criticized by your boss, partner, friend, you will respond in one of two ways. Fighting them back or running away. Rare will you find someone that will take the information, process, and take or reject the criticism without fighting or flight away, even within your own head. Ideally, you would want to process the information and try to process it for your game but we are not taught that response.

This day an age, most of our youth and even millenials are being taught flight or running away from their problems. Rarely are they taught to stand up and fight back. Even fighting for what they know is right is hard for them to fathom. For instance, if you found someone on the street who was just mugged and was bloody laying on the side of the road, what would be your response. Keep going or help that person. You may justify it that you don't have time but how often could you not spare 2 minutes to see if this person was okay.

This flight response is very prevelant in two completely different situations: divorce or work.

DIVORCE: When things get hard in your marriage, how soon are we to respond with the mere thought of divorce. That is a flight response. You want to run away from your issues, and you will justify it that this person does not understand you or you are always fighting, etc. This will always be a problem, even in your next spouse, unless you fix the way you respond.

WORK: How often do we daydream of leaving our full time employment because we don't like something that is happening in our life. How often are we willing to take the easy road and run away because it is just easier? Yet if you stick it out, you will reap so many more rewards. If you decide to change the thing you are running away from then no one else has to go through it. (We will speak of changing things in the work place in the future)

WHY FLIGHT: Why do we choose flight, because it seems easier. WE don't have to confront something or someone when we run away. We don't have to put in the effort to fix something if we run away. We don't need to create more confrontation when we stand up and fight another person, especially a higher official.

MIDDLE RESPONSE: Is there another way to respond, minus confrontation or running away. Yes, it's call contemplation and introspection. With this response, you take in everything that is said and think about it. Apply it to yourself and weigh if that person is right or wrong about what they are saying. Contemplation may lead you to flight or fight, but not right away. Contemplation takes the emotion (fear, anger, etc) out of your initial response and you are then in control. We will be able to choose how you will respond and that person who brings up the FOF response will have no control over you.

Wouldn't it be nice to have control over your responses. When someone makes you act a certain way, it is almost as if they control you and you have not control.

ACTION ITEMS:

1) Learn your responses. The next time you are in a confrontation, watch how you respond. Are you more prone to fight back or shut down? Are you more willing to yell or submit? Learning about yourself is always the first improvement.

2) Once you realize what you are feeling, you will always be looking for it and you will be conscience of that response. When you recognize it coming on, that is when you can change it.

3) Change it. Once you feel a fight or flight response, take the middle ground and contemplate and/or try the opposite. Instead of running, fight back, just for this one occassion. If this person is used to bullying you they will be taken back and they will have to contemplate how to respond. You just disarmed them from acting the way they usually do.

TAKEAWAY: Learn more about yourself and live intensionally to become more of who you are meant to be.