FAMILY PREP #1: Understanding...

If you are going through the steps of making your family life better, I can only imagine that you really want to make a change and become better. That is fantastic. But beyond reading, what are you doing to bring your family to the next level. What have you changed to make this step. Here are some of the people that I know are joining us in this blog.

AVATAR #1: The stay-at-home wife that has seen their husband fall out of love or interest with them, their kids, their norm. Working long hours, not communicating, no reciprocation. She feels that her husband never communicates and doesn't appreciate what she does.

AVATAR #2: The stay-at-home husband that has seen the wife become less interested in him and focusing solely on work and so he feels unattractive and unwanted. He feels that she never communicates and doesn't appreciate what he does so she can work.

AVATAR #3: The working wife that has so much stress coming from work that by the time she gets home she just want to prop her feet up and relax. Maybe feels that when she gets home her work has just begun because she has to do the housework all by herself.

AVATAR #4: The working husband that has been at work so long and used to be excited to come home, but when he is arrives his wife has been grabbed, hugged, groped, and smothered by her own kids he feels she is completely turned off from any type of touch so he feels unwanted.

AVATAR #5: The unemployed spouse who feels they lost their self-worth when they lost their job and it is hard to face their loved ones and tell them that they can't provide for the family. This hits each spouse greatly, but because of societal norms it hits husbands slightly harder, though each feel the "shame" greatly. You shouldn't feel shamed that is not always your fault.

AVATAR #6: The youth who sees his parents always fighting and is hoping for something to intervene and help him reclaim his parents love and attention. (First off, please don't believe any of this is ever your fault and it happens to the best of families)

AVATAR #7: The newly weds or those engaged who are looking for guidance before or now that they have taken the leap. Congratulations to you for wanting to look into this for miscommunication and the fact that your differences will be coming out.

AVATAR #8: The single man or woman who hopes for a family or spouse in the near future that wants to prepare or find something for a friend. Each of these lessons do not end with your spouse and kids, it also is will also be for your parents and siblings, and you interaction with all of them.

Allow me to state this first: you are not entirely fault, but at the same time you are, for part of it. It takes two to tango and each partner is responsible for their own choices. Besides issues like abuse, there are things that everyone can do better, starting with communications and learning selflessness. Because it's a fact that no partner is perfect, this means neither you or your partner are perfect and each can improve in different ways.

Allow me to also state that if you look at the list of Avatars, you would have seen that all parties were addressed and their spouses were as well. Find which one you are and which one your spouse is and try to see life through their perspective. This is a small glimpse into their lives now go talk to them and ask them for more details. It is sometimes too hard to see the other story when you feel so much of your own pain but there are always two sides to every story.

ACTION ITEMS:

1) Go talk to your spouse and ask them for their experience and how they feel. Communication is essential if you want to continue in this course.

2) Realize and ponder that you are not solely responsible for what is happening in your family. Right down what you can do better and then put it to the side, do not write your spouse's list. Focus on yours and through communications, hopefully, they will write their own.