FAMILY: Love and Forgiveness...

I write many of these things out of experience or learning them through friends so everything I say here is time tested. A new experience I wanted to share with you is one that happened quite recently.

I was divorced back in April, not because of anything the two of us did directly. There were outside forces and I will leave it at that. BUT since then I have been dating. I have become especially close to three amazing and virtuous women. We have self control over our desires and for the first week, to even a month before our first date, depending on the distance between us we simple talk over the phone in anticipation for that date. These three women all have their own stores, their own pains, and their own quirks but again all very strong amazing women.

The most recent one is the one I would like to talk about, nothing about her background but instead what is happening now, for it is a true story of love and forgiveness and though I don't know where it will go, I am so happy to see it happen.

This woman, we will call her Sarah, and I met under very interesting and almost miraculous circumstances. Everything stood in the way but also everything fell in to place. We became very close, I got to the point where I felt love for her and even told her that. I was falling for her completely but there was something that came up that touched me to the core. Even though she was falling for me, she still loved her husband very deeply. So deeply that she mentioned it to me and whenever his name was mentioned she would defend him.

Now I know of her husband through a mutual friend and I hear he is a good guy, but when his ex-wife and I started dating he put his walls up and pushed her away further than before. As an ex-husband who still has feelings for his ex-wife, I completely understand. I had to put up a wall so I wasn't taken advantage of or have my heart hurt anymore.

When Sarah and I talked about a week ago, I asked her directly about her feelings for her husband and she confessed them still being there. In her mind, they both through that each other wanted the divorce and so they moved on it. The misunderstandings between these two are like canyons holding them apart and they could not talk.

It was at that very moment I knew I had to step back. It wasn't just for the love of these two people but the three amazing souls that they were raising between the two of them. Those little kids are some of the cutest you will find, behind my own, and they deserve their parents to give it a second try and hopefully, in the future, for their parents to be reunited. All four of them are worth the fight and struggle it may take for them to be reconciled.

It was because of that worth that even though I had fallen for Sarah, I could not have. So on Monday I sat down with her to talk to her and in essence broke-up with her but not for the normal reasons. Instead, I was just standing in the way of any reconciliation and I couldn't do that to an eternal family. They are all worth it in their own way.

I must also add that I did something totally out of the norm, I called her ex-husband to explain why we broke up and about her love for him, and her growth as an individual and person since we met. He and I spoke of some of the struggles he had that caused the divorce, much like she told me hers. And though it was weird for the two of us to talk it was very positive and full of growth for myself as well.

UPDATE: Since we broke up, Sarah and her husband have starter talking again constantly. They have become cordial and though it won't be easy, they are working on themselves and I am so happy for them. In addition, I hope they don't take each other back right away, they need that growth and development before they become a couple again. There is no need to rush, just let it happen.