FAMILY PREP #4: Communications...

Last night I asked my kids in a family council if they had any questions that they had been holding on to. My youngest boy raised his hand and asked me about a boy lying at school and automatically my two oldest attacked him and told him that that was his opinion. Now when I say attacked him I mean they chastised him for what he was asking and he seemed to shutdown and didn't want to continue. This was the point of the exercise because I knew my kids well enough that they would interrupt to put in their two sense without listening to him. When he was done, I asked each of my kids if they had any more questions and then I addressed the attack. I explained that when they interrupted him he shut down and asked if they saw that reaction. They had. It was a learning moment about how to keep the window of communication open in a family.

Later I asked them what happens when the window of communication break down. We discussed the loss of trust and openness.

It was very interesting how youth understood this concept so well and yet adults miss it so easily. It is essential that in a family it is essential to gain trust through open windows of communication.